Be Obsessed or Be Average – Grant Cardone

Here are 5 other points to the book:

“Be obsessed or be average.” Those are the words stated boldly by Grant Cardone, motivational speaker, real estate investor, and sales trainer. In his book, Grant addresses why you need to become obsessed in order to rise above average. He states that his whole life he’s been obsessed with becoming rich (which he has as his net worth is an estimated $350 million). He says that you need to find your passion and become obsessed with it and to forget what the naysayers or haters say you striving for success. Throughout the book you can feel Grant’s passion and hunger to consistently stay hungry and to achieve the next level of success. Here are some of the points to the book.


1. The first step to success is to make a commitment. Entrepreneur John Assaraf stated that when he had met his first mentor, his mentor had asked him if he was interested or committed to becoming successful. John then asked his mentor what the difference was and his mentor replied that being interested in success means that you’ll do whatever’s convenient but being committed means that you’ll do whatever it takes. For yourself if you’re committed to success, quit spending your time and money on things that aren’t going to move you forward to fulfilling your dreams. I showed up for work at the car dealership the next morning an hour early—embarrassed, self-conscious, scared of what others thought about me, short on confidence, and not knowing where to start. The owner welcomed me back with open arms, which was great. I realized later he had probably saved my life by giving me a place to put my life back together. My first day back was awkward but good. I actually sold something. I stayed at work later than everyone else, probably scared to go home. Free time was a threat to me because I knew when and if I got bored or didn’t have something productive to do, I was at risk of returning to my old ways. Six months later I was still clean, and my dedication and commitment to my new manifesto and my obsession with staying clean, rebuilding my life, and creating success for myself were paying off. I had become the dealership’s top salesperson. I was outperforming guys who’d worked there for years, all of whom stood around scratching their heads, wondering what my ‘secret’ was. They thought it was that I was no longer using drugs. Wrong! Certainly I couldn’t have done what I was doing while on drugs, but simply not using drugs was not the secret. I knew plenty of people who had left treatment and were not winning in their careers. The ‘secret’ was that instead of being obsessed with horrible habits, I allowed myself to become obsessed with success again with the same innocence and energy I had as a kid. Rather than denying my obsession with success, I gave myself permission to embrace it. I was starting to get a taste of how life could be. I was making money for the first time and saving all of it. More important, for the first time in years I felt good about myself. My self-esteem was returning and I was starting to find my swag and belief in myself again. Though I was a long way from the kind of success I had dreamed of, I finally knew I was headed in the right direction.


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2. It’s okay to become obsessed with something; use your obsession (or passion as others may call it) as fuel to bring you to greatness. Free that animal instinct in you to drive and push you. Your obsession is the most valuable tool you have to build the life you deserve and dream of. Unfortunately, most people never figure out what they are really obsessed with, because they’ve been taught to deny their obsessions. Don’t let that be you. Find something, anything, that you are obsessed with. It doesn’t matter what it is right now, because you are just going to take the urges, momentum, and fixation on that thing and redirect them. Maybe you’re obsessed with fantasy football and spending too much time on it. Okay. Or maybe you are obsessed with one particular relationship that is destructive. Fine. This only goes to prove you could be obsessed with something else too. Maybe your obsession is Candy Crush or online poker or playing chess on the street with old men. Even if you are obsessed with things you know can in no way produce greatness in your life, it doesn’t matter at this moment. What matters at first is realizing you have the capacity to be obsessed. Your obsession means you have the juice to do great things. Your obsession can get you out of the culture of average (more on that in the next chapter). Now you just need to channel the monsters and redirect the energy to something positive and constructive. Don’t try to stifle or reduce the obsession. Instead, give yourself permission to use it and redirect it.


3. Don’t listen to anyone’s standard of your success, you’re responsible for your own. Don’t let others dictate to you how you should live your life and how you should “slow down” or “relax”. Those who suggest you should settle for less than your potential are doing so because they are trying to make sense of a decision to settle for less in their own lives. Actually, they didn’t settle—they quit. They quit short of their potential and now are trying to make sense of why they did so. There is no exception to this. The super successful will never tell anyone to do less, to settle, or to be satisfied. Those who have actually made it big would never tell you it’s a pipe dream and will always encourage you to do more. Prepare yourself: When you commit to this obsessed thing, you will be labeled an outlier, a freak, and a weirdo. Remind yourself you aren’t the problem. The problem is the world we’ve living in.


4. The knowledge that you have is only as good as the source. Are you getting your health advice from unhealthy people? Are you getting your money advice from those who are broke? Are you getting relationship advice from those who’ve been divorced and the unhappy? Think about the quality of the knowledge that you’re getting. Really analyze and think about the advice you get from others and their credibility. Millions of people spend three to four hours of their workday scanning Facebook and then go home to watch hours of television on ninety-inch screens they bought on credit. They’re hypnotized by the national media’s coverage of the most recent terrorist attack, missing plane, and celebrity scandal. Or they’re glued to one of so many made-up sagas about cops solving crimes or battles in imaginary kingdoms. Turn those off, and you live in a world where there are more mobile devices than human beings. We are being blasted by 24-7 Internet jabber, Twitter feeds in the hundreds of billions, eight billion daily Snapchat and YouTube videos, trillions of useless posts every day, and now streaming video where everyone can be a broadcaster puking mindless content. Not to mention we’re constantly being spammed with pornography, celebrity fascinations, and bouncing cats. With this much distraction coming at you nonstop, the chance for success is slight. But you can break out of the average cycle—in fact, you must. Average is a failing formula and it works for no one, no matter how much they try to make sense of it. Unhappy people can’t teach you how to be happy. The poor can’t teach you how to get rich. A guy in a failing marriage cannot teach you how to make your marriage work. An average person can’t teach you how to be exceptional. I have a saying I live by: ‘Never take advice from a quitter.’ And let me be clear—average people are quitters. They quit striving for a better life and quit short of their potential.


5. Write down your goals on a daily basis and remind yourself of then consistently. I once heard Brendon Burchard, highest paid high performance coach, state the reason why people have mid-life crisis is because they don’t check in with their goals/purpose enough. They go with the flow of life and then one day they realize they haven’t been on track with their goals/purpose. Make sure you think about your goals, write them down, and execute.Writing goals down daily is a great tool for staying focused, recommitting, and rebooting, because the destination will be changing a lot. It will also help you keep track of how far you have come from when you first started this practice—and learn a lot about yourself as well. First, though, let’s clarify what I mean by goals as opposed to purpose. Goals are something you seek to achieve, whereas purpose is the reason you do something (your North Star, the reason why you do what you do). In order to stay obsessed with your true purpose, you need to be obsessed with setting and hitting your goals and continuing to feed your future. I started writing down my goals the night I returned from rehab, in order to get focused on what I would create in my life. Since then I have written my goals down every day. And not just at night but also first thing each morning and then anytime I am feeling a bit down or lost. What I write is not what you would find on a “to do” list. When I talk about goals for the obsessed, I am not talking about achievable activities. I am talking about wins that are out of reach at this time. I am talking about creating a powerful future that pulls you forward constantly. This morning when I woke up, I rolled over to the legal pad I keep next to my bed and wrote: ‘I have $4 billion in real estate holdings.’ Currently I have about $400 million in holdings, so that number, ten times the current amount, seems a long way off. In fact, it’s so far off as to seem unachievable. But every day I just keep writing it down. And I write it down in the past or present tense—not in the future tense or as a desire but as something I’ve already accomplished. I don’t write down, ‘I want $4 billion in real estate holdings’—that would be all about desire and not about action. I assume my mind accepts everything as reality.


6. Ignore the naysayers and haters. Whatever you do in life you’ll always have people who hate and love you. There’s no point in trying to please everyone as that’s quite impossible. If you’re going to have people not like you no matter what you do, you might as well live life on your terms and ignore the others. No one creates an explosive business or the next big thing by staying inside the lines of what people expect of them. The naysayers will warn you and the haters will scream. Let them. Sure, you know that your goals will irritate the average people who love you and drive the quitters insane. Telling the naysayers you’re no longer listening to them is no easy task. But you have to get so comfortable with and sure of your obsession that you don’t listen to anyone who tells you it’s better to doubt and be confused. Use the naysayers as guides and the haters as fuel. Do not fight them, and certainly never attempt to tame your obsessions. Obsessed people aren’t looking for permission or approval. They don’t need anyone to tell them that their ideas sound ‘okay.’ Instead, their inner resolve makes them solidify space, explode ideas, and trespass boundaries. They create new environments because they invade conventional reality, entering with neither permission nor approval and exiting having redefined everything.


By Ryan Timothy Lee


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