Evolution of Desire – David M. Buss

Have you ever asked “What do women look for in men?” or vice versa? Or perhaps “What can I do to better attract him?”. This book comprehensively explains the unconscious human behaviours towards attracting and keeping a mate for both men and women. To substantiate his theories, Buss, psychology professor at the University of Texas, goes into great detail on the various studies he has conducted to aid him to his conclusions. It’s interesting to now know that we subconsciously look for certain attributes in a mate and that the aggressive and defensive tactics we employ are in fact an adaptive behaviour from our ancestors; all of our behaviours serve a purpose. This book had so many great points to it but here are my top takeaways:


1. “It may seem odd to view human mating, romance, sex, and love as inherently strategic. But we never choose mates at random. We do not attract mates indiscriminately.”


2. “Women desire men who command a high position in society because social status is a universal cue to control of resources. Along with status come better food, more abundant territory, and superior health care. Greater social status bestows on children social opportunities missed by the children of lower-ranked makes.


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3. Upon seeking a potential mate, physical attractiveness matter to men. A person’s social status is based primarily on that person’s ability to acquire rare resources. For the case of men, beauty in a woman as it’s a scarce resource. For women, it’s the ability to attract a man of high status and resources.Our ancestors had access to two types of observable evidence of a woman’s health and youth: features of physical appearance, such as full lips, clear skin, smooth skin, clear eyes, lustrous hair, and good muscle tone, and features of behavior, such as a bouncy, youthful gait, an animated facial expression, and a high energy level. These physical cues to youth and health, and hence to reproductive capacity, constitute the ingredients of male standards of female beauty.


4. “Men’s shift in perceptions of attractiveness near closing time occurs regardless of how much alcohol has been consumed. Whether a man has consumed a single drink or six drinks has no effect of the shift in viewing women as more attractive near closing time.


5.Men apparently interpret simple friendliness and mere smiling by women as indicating some level of sexual interest, even when report no such interest.”

By Ryan Lee


My Rating:
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Check out the book here:
Amazon USA
Amazon Canada
Amazon UK


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